Q. My boyfriend and I bought a house together about six months ago. Neither of us had good enough credit to qualify, so his father cosigned and we are both listed on the mortgage. Now we are separating. I don't care about keeping the house -- it was his grandparents' home -- but he would like to keep it. How difficult do you think it would be to have my name removed?

A. It's virtually impossible to have a name removed from a mortgage. When the bank or mortgage company made the loan, it did so based on the fact that three people signed the papers and agreed to repay the debt. It holds each of you individually liable for the full amount and will not allow any of you to just walk away from that obligation.

You've got to have your boyfriend and his father refinance the home into a new mortgage in their names only. Once the loan with your name on it is paid off, you're out of the deal.

We hope you can do this amicably. It doesn't sound like you have a contract outside of the mortgage agreement that spells out how you would unwind joint ownership of the home if your relationship didn't work out. That's something we tell couples, family members or anyone buying real estate together that they absolutely must have.

It's possible that your boyfriend and his father won't want to refinance because it usually costs a few thousand dollars to get a new loan. They'll tell you not to worry, they'll make all the payments. But that's not good enough. You'll still be legally liable for a house that you're getting no benefit from because it doesn't sound like you have any ownership stake in the property and they aren't buying you out.

Who knows what the situation might be 10 years from now? You could be building a career and family somewhere else, and suddenly the bank is knocking on the door saying that your old boyfriend and his father stopped making payments and you are legally responsible for repaying a debt from a long-forgotten part of your life. A default would go on your credit history.

If your boyfriend and his father don't readily agree to refinance, you need to contact a local real estate attorney and get advice on how to proceed.